3 Years Down, Hopefully Forever to Go

Project 365, Day 114/365

Today (your yesterday) is my three-year wedding anniversary with my Charles. I’m not sure how many of you know this but we got married at the courthouse just two days before moving to Los Angeles from South Florida. It wasn’t supposed to be that way, really. Just a few weeks before I got a job that would take us across the country, we were finally settling on a date to book our venue. Life circumstances that I won’t go into today kept us from wedding bliss for many years, so it would only make sense that another life circumstance would thwart our newly minted plans.

We knew moving to California, starting new jobs, restablishing new lives would be too much to handle along with planning a wedding…from the opposite coast, so we did what was right for us at that moment: we got a marriage license, then showed up to the courthouse a few days later, after turning in the keys to our apartment and saying goodbye to all our friends and family down south, and got hitched.

I remember how nervous I was sitting in the nondescript waiting area. There were a few other couples there who clearly had the same agenda as us. I remember this woman and man who had come dressed so nicely. Charles and I had come in ripped jeans (me) and khakis (him), no wedding bands to exchange, no custom vows written…just the two of us with nothing more than ourselves and maybe some butterflies in our bellies. I hadn’t even told my mom or sister. The intention was to do this for “legalities” and plan a wedding ceremony and party for a time in the near future. Famous last words, amiright?

In fact, we still don’t have wedding bands. That was something we were “saving” to do for our “real” wedding. Oftentimes, out of nowhere, I’ll look over at unsuspecting Charles and say “I think we should get wedding bands,” and he’ll reply something along the lines of “Yeah, we should,” and then weeks and months will pass again. It’s one of those things.

I still chuckle thinking of the clerk that married us that Monday morning. She was exactly who you imagined would be working the license office at a county courthouse in a small beachside town. She checked us in, asked us to show her our marriage license, pay the minimal fee, then she asked us to wait to be called. She was curt, a bit dry and all business. I had no idea she’d be the same woman to don an emerald green judge’s robe about 20 minutes later and marry us. That judge’s robe must have somehow magically turned her into a warm, inviting person, because as soon as we were called into the little room where Charles and I would be pronounced husband and wife, she was a different person all together. Her voice was hushed, her eyes were warm. She asked me if I wanted a bouquet of silk flowers. I took them, laughing in my head about it.

The whole thing took about five minutes. We held hands the whole time (she told us to), locked eyes and smiled at each other all the way through. And then we were married. I imagine it wouldn’t have been that different had our loved ones been sitting or standing behind us. Well, actually, I think it might have. That would have been about us all. This was just about us. And while it was completely and utterly unglamorous as it comes, it was kind of perfect.

Afterward, we went to the little Mexican restaurant we had come to love and claim as our own that was just up the road, had some lunch and some margaritas, and then drove three hours north to Orlando where we’d be flying out of, on to our next chapter. I can’t lie, it was like something out of a movie, and well…I kind of love that. The whole thing was such a cocktail of emotions. The highest of highs for this “new” life, the lowest of lows for leaving everyone and everything we knew and loved behind. It reminds me of that line in the song Closing Time: Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Ain’t that the truth?

So, while we still talk about having a celebration of sorts, time will tell when and where that will be. Rings and flowers and champagne are nice, but we don’t need any of that. (Though photos would be nice.) Until then, I’ll appreciate the time and years we’ve had together, and how much our partnership has grown in the last few years here. We’ve endured sadness, pain, excitement, longing and homesickness…together. We’ve traveled, made new friends…together. These have been the most challenging, impactful and joyous years of my life. Three years that have felt like an eternity in all the best ways and I’d do it again in a heartbeat, faux floral bouquet and all.

❤️ to my Charles…always