According to Instagram, I’m Taking Quarantine Too Seriously

Arlyn HernandezAugust 23, 202030 Comments

Guys, I really think I’m crazy. At least that’s how it feels when I log onto Instagram and see everyone going about their lives like literally NOTHING is happening in this world, pandemic-wise. Where March through May felt like we were all hunkered down together, baking bread, Zoom happy houring, sharing our “stuck inside” miseries, this summer has made me feel straight-up insane, but not for the reason you might think.

No, I don’t have cabin fever necessarily. Nothing has changed with this virus, so my behavior hasn’t changed. BUT AM I THE ONLY ONE?!? I really, truly was beginning to think that I was. Even people I know to be responsible, socially conscientious, seem so lax right now. Traveling the US, hosting dinner parties inside with friends, sharing their many vacation escapades. Are there details I don’t know about these situations? Of course. Some people have “quarantine pods,” a trusted group of friends they hang out with who promise to control their whereabouts, etc. etc.

But even being aware of the fact that I don’t know the full story behind any image or video posted online, I’m starting to feel like the only human left social distancing, or, more accurately, opting to stay mostly inside, with just my household (Charles).

That is until yesterday, when Orlando Soria posted an Instagram post that felt as if it had come directly from my brain. I won’t copy and paste the whole caption, because it is long, go give it a read, but this is the gist:

“I have gotten increasingly uncomfortable at what’s going on around me as I’m noticing more and more people just clinging to their past lives, traveling and socializing the way they did before. I am seeing a lot of performative socializing and vacationing and it’s making me feel crazy, like somehow I imagined the whole pandemic or somehow I’m the only dork staying in.”

“I’m feeling gaslit by the contrast between the US’ terrible infection rates and how carefree people are acting. And I’m feeling bummed at just how long we still have to go to get past this.”

PREACH ORLANDO. THIS. ALL OF THIS. I saw person after person share his post on their Instagram Stories in solidarity, and so many of the comments saying they understand his plight, and are carrying the same insecurity of feeling crazy. At the very least, that made me feel like what I was thinking had some merit.

Charles and I have been indoors for FIVE MONTHS. I do not write that as if to say “look at us, we’re so amazing.” I say that because it has been HARD but what we feel is the right thing to do. Well, maybe more me than him, but Charles is nothing if not supportive and my partner, so he stays in step with me for my own comfort. Bless him. We also do not have the impossible decision that comes with having school-aged kids and what the “right” thing to do is regarding them having to go back to campus or not. Our current existence is relatively simple and uncomplicated, so it’s easy for me to be on this pedestal. I get that.

We have been getting groceries delivered—a luxury we recognize, and a luxury we compensate for in our other spending—and limiting take out. I’m so tired of cooking. I’m so tired of just laying around, watching HGTV (wait, no I’m not). The only human interaction we’ve had in five months is the one time one of our couple friends came by (outside) to drop off a sweet treat and we sat like 10 feet apart, all wearing masks, in the backyard (and by “backyard” I mean the concrete between the building and the garages). The hypochondriac in me self-monitored after that for like a week, checking my temperature here and there, even though I knew, of all people, they were immensely responsible and had been home just as long as Charles and me.

I find myself becoming increasingly judgemental of what I’m seeing online. Of the bachelorette parties, birthday parties, the very public beach vacations, the dinners out with friends, the dinners in with friends…more and more, Instagram and Facebook just feels like we’re all living in pre-COVID days. I wonder “is that their quarantine pod?!?” or “where are their masks?” every second I’m watching. I try to conjure up a story that will give them a pass so I don’t jump to “selfish” territory. Honestly, I feel like that stereotypical old grumpy person sitting on their front porch yelling at the kids to GET OFF MY GRASS. It’s not great.

Are my cautious ways too much? Am I the insane one? Am I going overboard? It wouldn’t be the first time. As Orlando said, am I a rule-following dork who’s missing out on life while everyone just moves on like nothing is happening? Everyone I know personally who has relaxed their way of life right now says literally EXACTLY the same thing: “we’re being safe.” Who am I to grade someone’s safety levels? But also, I TRUST NO ONE.

Everyone is allowed to make their own choices, yes. I’m likely very much in the wrong for passing judgment because I am not perfect. What is that they say about throwing stones in a glass house? Maybe there’s something I’m not seeing that would counteract what my brain thinks I’m seeing. Wouldn’t be the first time Instagram was one big lie, fun times captured “just for the ‘gram” and really everyone is several feet apart, masked up, sanitizer at the ready.

I also recognize that things feel different depending on where you are in this country. Things aren’t exactly great in California right now, so maybe that indoor dinner party I saw in Atlanta is less risky than the indoor dinner party I saw in Los Angeles. I tend to be a bit extreme, too much of a rule follower, to a point that’s detrimental, but also, is it worth taking that risk right now?

Here’s a truth I know about myself: I’m scared of nearly everything, but once I do something and it’s fine, I feel more comfortable with it. It’s what I call the “but did you die?” badge of honor. I know this same thinking would apply to life in COVID, which is part of the reason I’m staying put. “I went to the grocery store…and it was fine.” Which for me leads to, “I went to a park with friends, but stayed distanced…and it was fine,” which would get me to “I went to dinner on a patio…and it was fine,” which would transition to “I had friends over…and it was fine.” I can easily see how people would slide back into normalcy after tiptoeing into the freedoms that have been so off-limits for months on end. I recognize that the “…and it was fine” part is what most people are banking on. And hopefully, for a great percentage of all of us, IT WILL BE FINE. I HOPE. But I’m not going to ignore the other piece of that pie where NOTHING IS FINE. The opposite, actually.

It’s easy to live in “…and it was fine” when you have no experience with this virus. When it sounds like a “story” but you know no one who has been through it. Well, I know or know of at least 6 very real people who have contracted COVID-19, 2 of which have unfortunately died from the disease. 2/6…that’s 1 out of every 3. No, the mortality rate for COVID is not 33%, I understand that. Nowhere near close to that, but when THAT’S what I’ve seen, can you blame me for going all-in on quarantine?

Many of the arguments I’ve heard regarding “getting back to life” is this idea of “to what end?” To what end do we live in a COVID-19 prison? For me, until I feel moderately safe, until cases seem under control, until we know more of the long-term effects of this novel virus. Charles and I have settled into our hermit lifestyle pretty well. Yes, we miss “normal” life very much, but I’m trying to mentally normalize what we’re living right now so I don’t find myself feeling like I need “out” of it. I’m prepared to live like this, inside with very limited contact with anyone, anywhere, for the long haul, and I’m okay with it…for now. Maybe in 3 or 6 months, I’ll be singing a different tune, but in the here and now, this is just how I’m feeling.

I could keep writing in circles about this, but I’ll leave you with this: are you feeling what I’m feeling? Does what Orlando shared resonate with you, too? Are there more of us “dorks” out there than I think, and we’re just staying quiet about our rule-following dorkiness? Please tell me I’m not crazy. Please validate me. How have you and your family stayed safe during these past few months? How have you “loosened up” in ways that you feel comfortable with? I *promise* I won’t judge you…too much. 😉

Loretta says:

August 23, 2020 at 6:27 am

Arlyn,

I think each individual has their own perspective about what is safe. Our church was closed for 21 weeks and I think a lot
of people thought when we opened back up that at least 75%
of the congregation would be back.
We live on a Peninsula where our positive numbers are fairly low.
However it appears many people are not comfortable coming
back to church even though we are practice social
distancing. We have maybe 25% of the normal amount.
So I think it depends on the area you live in and how people
live their lives. Many people here have lived here all of their lives so that means grand parents and great grandparents also
live here. Therefore, people are being careful as they don’t want their older family members to become ill.
That being said, our area also does not have a lot of jobs that can be done from home so essential people are going to work every
single day which means they are out there not because they want to be, but because they have to be.
Even teachers who are doing remote teaching have got to go
to schools in order to teach in some districts because that is how the districts have designed their fall semester.
If you are able to stay home and that is where you feel safest,
by all means then you should.
My sister works for a very small company in a southern state
that is struggling with increasing positive numbers right now.
They didn’t wear masks because it wasn’t mandatory.
Now the local government is making it mandatory….
months after the rest of us have been wearing masks in public.
I went to a gathering the other night which was outside with
a local popular band playing. Most people there were retirement
age or at least over fifty. There was some social distancing
and lots of mask wearing but it just wasn’t the same.
Not the normal energy and people visiting with each other.
I think most of us in my area are hoping we can just get through
winter with few cases and are looking forward to 2021.
Mary Rachel H. says:

August 23, 2020 at 6:54 am

You are NOT crazy!! Thank you for writing this because I, too, feel like an insane dork for not going out since March and not planning to for the foreseeable future. I live in Georgia, and frankly, it’s horrifying to see how people are acting and how careless most people I’ve encountered when I have had to venture outside are being. Masks aren’t mandatory here which is even more frustrating (and absurd). I think the relevancy you talk about is real — because you know people who have gotten sick and died (I’m very sorry), and because I have too, it reinforces the realness and scariness of this pandemic. I just wish there was a continued “we’re all in this together” mentality. And, because there’s not, I’m left feeling crazy, bewildered, and sad. Anyway, I’m with you and Orlando and I’m relieved to know there are other people out there feeling the same way I do. 🙂
1. Nichole says:
  
  August 23, 2020 at 8:48 am
  
  Arlyn,
  Thank you for staying in. I am severely immunocompromised due to my cancer treatment. I need everyone who is not an essential worker to behave the way you and Orlando are. But sadly, my life is full of people who cannot understand that they are not only taking risks for themselves, but also for the rest of society. My immediate family and a few friends and relatives (That I only see on FT), are staying in as well. Everyone else has lost their minds. I can’t even get my own mother to behave and she knows this is life or death for me. It is psychologically very hard to deal with. If I make it through this pandemic, I am very worried that there are people I won’t feel comfortable being around ever again, based on their current behaviors.
  
  There is an article in the Washington Post today talking about the psychology of how your brain makes you think everything you are doing is ok and not risky (just like you said), even though it’s just as risky now as it was in March. In a lot of places the infection rates are higher.
  
  Thanks again for writing this and staying in.
Janine says:

August 23, 2020 at 7:38 am

Agreed. Completely! Even friends who were more nervous about COVID back in March have since given up social distancing and started holding birthday parties and bbqs . I’m in NYC and our transmission rate is low now, but it still makes me very uncomfortable, and worse, isolated and like I’m the crazy one.

You’re not alone! There are a lot of us out here scratching our heads bc we must have missed the memo that everything’s ok now.
Kara Goldberg says:

August 23, 2020 at 8:21 am

You are not crazy in the least and I’m right there with you. I feel the same way when I look at Instagram. We’re taking it step by step as well – only seeing friends outside 6 ft apart and limiting any kind of trips to the store. Thank you for taking this serious pandemic seriously.
Elisabeth says:

August 23, 2020 at 8:22 am

You’re not alone. I’m exactly where you are right now. We’re doing the right thing. We can’t control others, but we can do the right thing.
1. Sarah says:
  
  August 23, 2020 at 8:54 am
  
  Yes, and thank you for validating my own feelings too! I admit that I am in a “pod” because I needed help with my kids or I was going to lose my job. I’m so grateful that everyone on my pod can stay home literally all the time, and we can work remotely from our computers. But my heart breaks for my kids when I see photos of other kids out and about playing with each other, or actually when we just drive by a bunch of people playing outside together. I live in Sonoma County and there are little league games, soccer games, full on birthday parties in parks without any masks… and yes, our numbers continue to rise. My feelings are paired with a fury that my daughter is missing out on pre-K because not enough people can be bothered to stop partying.
Leslie Y says:

August 23, 2020 at 8:28 am

FDR said it best in 1940 just as we entered WWII: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” What he meant was not that war was without risks and danger but that the accompanying paranoia and fear is often worse than the potential risks. The same is true of Covid. People are letting fear drive them to insane levels of panic. Only 1.6% of the American public has been diagnosed with Covid. Less than 0.05% of Americans have died of it. That doesn’t mean you should blithely carry on without taking precautions. It means rather that you should carry on — with precautions!

So this summer I went on vacation to the mountains. I’ve gone to outdoor restaurants. I’ve been shopping. I’ve spent time with family and friends. I resumed life in controlled ways. I wore my mask. I used hand sanitizer. I maintained my distance. I avoided crowds. At some point, you need to accept that Covid will always be with us, there may never be an effective vaccine, and you just have to learn to live with it — just like we’ve learned to live with the flu. Yes, yes, the flu is less contagious than Covid but there is no cure for the flu either, the flu vaccine is variably effective, and the flu kills tens of thousands every year. Yet we deal with the flue year after year, without cowering in our homes.

You can stay at home 24/7 for the rest of your life if you choose. Or you can accept that life is filled with risk — even before Covid. At any rate, sitting in judgment of other people’s choices — mostly because your own choice is making you miserable and you resent that other people aren’t as miserable — is not a road anyone should pursue.
Heidi says:

August 23, 2020 at 8:38 am

Thank you so much for this. My husband and I are in the same camp. I actually decided to “quit” social media a few weeks ago because I couldn’t stand seeing all my friends and family traveling, having parties, and just seemingly ignoring the pandemic. Even the ones who are high risk or who I previously thought were very responsible and safe, and even my germaphobe (!) friends. Then they treat me like I’M the crazy one for not joining in their outings and get-togethers and that I’m living in fear, resulting in self-doubt and a hefty dose of guilt. Meanwhile, we live in an area that has been hit hard and the number of cases increase daily. So thank you for helping me feel less alone.
Pamela says:

August 23, 2020 at 8:51 am

Dork here… your feelings also resonate with me. My husband also has not left the house (except to mow or stretch his legs and then stays within the perimeter with a mask on) for five months. I go to the grocery store and pick up prescriptions every three weeks. I wear a mask and gloves, use hand wipes when I get back in the car and sanitize EVERYTHING I touch when I get home… keys, debit card, phone, door handles, refrigerator handles, cabinet pulls, take a shower and isolate the clothes I wore for a week before they are laundered and the purchases detox for a couple of days before we use them. We let our mail detox for a few days before we open it and I could go on even more about our excessive protocols. Meanwhile, I see unmasked neighbors from different households congregating and our own extended family in another state where cases have grown get together frequently for lunch or to watch NBA games with my octogenarian in-laws. My husband read a column early in the pandemic I know longer remember the source or author, but the title was about the coming “social dissonance”. It. Is. Real.
Holly says:

August 23, 2020 at 9:06 am

I’m so appreciative for you and Orlando writing about this. In the early pandemic, I had a quarantine “pod” of 6 people. We stuck together and were really safe. I felt OK.

Now my pod is doing things I’m personally uncomfortable with, like going into work (despite the option to WFH), going to weddings, and going on dates in bars. I’m having to make a really uncomfortable decision. I don’t feel justified asking my friends to change their lifestyles, I’m uncomfortable with the risk they’re putting me in, but I know my mental health will suffer if I return to only seeing them on Zoom. It’s nice to know other people are also making tough decisions.

I think we just all have to muddle through and figure out what we’re personally comfortable with. This pandemic isn’t going away for a while, we’re not receiving guidance from our government, and judging others (although lord knows, I’m guilty) never makes us feel better in the end.
elle says:

August 23, 2020 at 9:13 am

Good post — I relate! It is very troubling to see how so many people are acting like there is absolutely no problem and flouting serious, scientifically based current recommendations to wear masks and practice physical distancing. We are going out some now but with precautions. I go to the grocery infrequently when absolutely necessary and when curbside pick up is not an option. My husband and I have gone to a big box home improvement store for some necessities at “off” times when there are few people; usually I am the only one that goes in any store. We have done three time-limited outdoor activities with 2 to 6 others, but all were wearing masks and social distancing. We have purchased curbside pick up of restaurant food. We always wear masks. Sometimes wear gloves in stores. Always use hand sanitizers before getting in the car. Wipe down handles in car and home, charge cards. Current research suggests that transmission on surfaces such as mail, boxes, etc is much less of a concern than previously thought; transmission is more through droplets traveling in air. So masks!! Distance!! No indoor socializing.
Tara says:

August 23, 2020 at 9:52 am

You aren’t alone. I quarantine for 2 weeks before I go see my mom. I have seen 5 friends this whole 5+ month period and it was only rotated out with weeks between and no more than 2 people at a time. I live alone and I was craving it. My brother’s been invited to a wedding this month when it’s Florida outside. I’ve seen others posting themselves in masks at an event but it was just for show bc masks were gone in most other photos. My mom turned 60 in May and I had a surprise party planned for her in RI bc we’d be there for my cousins graduation from college. All cancelled. So I took the day off (it was a random Thursday) and we drove to Melbourne Beach just to get out of the house with the intention that if there were crowds we’d go home and just have enjoyed the ride. There wasn’t a soul on the beach so we enjoyed ourselves and took prob my fave pic of her and I ever but I didn’t post it anywhere bc I felt it was irresponsible. We were at the beach in lockdown, did it matter there was no one there? It’d just be an endorsement of the behavior and people wouldn’t follow the standards we set for ourselves. I don’t think any birthday is important enough for these events and parties and normalizing of breaking guidelines. You survived birth, congratulations. My cousins graduated college and all they got was a yard sign and a cake. We’re in a crisis, smarten up. However, all of this said…if we get these pandemics every couple of years, I’m not changing my life forever. You’ll get a mask out of me and my normal high cleaning standards, that’s it. I’ll take the vaccine about a month after it’s available.
Elise says:

August 23, 2020 at 10:41 am

Arlyn,
Thank you and your husband for doing the right thing. My husband and I have been home since March 8th, and can’t believe what we are seeing out there. We live in San Diego and people are not wearing masks, they are not social distancing, it gets me so angry they are being so selfish. We are both in the at-risk group but even if we weren’t we would still be following the rules to be safe. I read Orlando’s post yesterday, I think there are more people like all of us and we only read/hear about the people breaking the rules? I’m shocked at seeing people lead their pre-COVID lives. So selfish. My daughter and her boyfriend came twice for a “parking lot hangout” behind our apartment building. We all wore masks and stayed far away from each other. This was a special treat for my birthday and Mother’s Day. Other than that, it’s been just the two of us. We live in the city in a building and I am terrified every time I need to leave the apartment to get the mail in the lobby, to go out on the sidewalk for grocery deliveries. Our building has narrow hallways, two small elevators, and a small lobby. So we decided to move to an apartment with an outside door. We are moving next week out of the city, and although I’m so excited to have an outside front door, we are both worried about having movers inside our apartment. The moving company (we’ve used them before and they are trustworthy) assured me they will be wearing masks and the movers have been working since March without any issues.

Btw, I think I signed up twice for your posts and now get two emails whenever a new post is up. Maybe you can check into it so your click-through numbers don’t get messed up? (I used to work in social media)
Keep doing the right thing and stay safe.
Sara K. says:

August 23, 2020 at 12:20 pm

It’s frustrating because we can often just say “live and let live,” but other people’s actions literally are harming us by increasing our risk of getting sick on the rare occasions we have to go out. We’ve been going to the grocery store an hour before it closes at night, and that’s been a good time where it’s not crowded. It’s still very stressful, though, especially because so many people are there on a daily basis, and it’s been shown that the droplets can stay in the air for a while. We wipe down all of the cold stuff with sanitizer before putting it away, and we let the non-refrigerated stuff sit out for about a week before we put it away. Same for mail. I don’t really get the comparisons to the flu, because so many reports indicate that people are sick with this for at least two weeks and for many more like two months. I’ve had the flu and yes it was awful, but it’s very predictable. We know what it’s like, and it doesn’t usually last more than 5 days or so. It’s not common (if even possible?) to have lasting effects, which we are seeing from COVID. To me it’s not worth the risk to be near others.

It’s not fun to stay at home, but at the end of the day we’re being asked to sacrifice so little. We’re not sending people off to war or seeing horrific violence in our streets. So many people have had to live through so much worse. I’m lucky enough to have a safe home, a remote job, a financial safety net, and a person to spend time with, so it’s not really much of a sacrifice at all to stay home so that the people who have to go out to work can stay safe. I’m not trying to be Pollyanna about it, but it just personally helps me to keep that perspective. It’s frustrating when people don’t act with consideration for others, but at least I know I’m doing my part. I’m optimistic that this is temporary, even if it feels like it’s been a long time already.

That being said we decided to go on our little trip that we planned months ago. It’s only 2 hours away and we’re staying in a rented apartment rather than a hotel, so it feels safe enough. We’re not sure how crowded the area will be, but even if we just stay inside most of the time at least we’ll have air conditioning and cable, which we don’t have at home, and we’ll get to feel like we’re on vacation. It’s okay to do stuff outside as long as you wear a mask and you’re willing to change your plans if you can’t easily stay 6 feet from others.
Julie says:

August 23, 2020 at 2:50 pm

Thank you for posting about this. I resonate with your post and Orlando’s. Our numbers are thankfully low right now, but I am a health care worker and I try to be VERY careful not to bring it home to my young family. Otherwise, only needed outings, rare social distance outdoor picnics in our driveway with one small family, masks on when not eating, hand sanitizing always. It drives me crazy driving by parties, groups of teens clearly not from one household, obvious gatherings where they are not distanced or masked, or those on social media acting like nothing is happening. I assure you, the virus is still around, people are still getting sick (or are asymptomatic carriers) and people continue to die from this virus. I’m glad you and your husband are staying safe and normalizing those who are also trying to stay safe, and do our part to end the spread of this very contagious virus. Thank you.
MKW says:

August 23, 2020 at 6:14 pm

I hear you all the way from Iowa. I just told my husband I feel like the little kid still behind the drapes during a game of hide-and-seek. But, all the other kids got tired of looking and went off to play something else and didn’t tell me!!! I’m still hiding out at home and everyone on vacation, dining out, and shopping. I miss those games and I wonder who will tell me this is over.
1. Ano says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 10:05 am
  
  Laughed out loud at your comments and Arlyns humor. Fellow dork here, and thank you!
2. Janine says:
  
  August 25, 2020 at 12:47 pm
  
  Omg yes, I feel this comment in my bones. What a great analogy.
Ginger says:

August 24, 2020 at 7:16 am

Nope, not crazy. I think that if I lived in LA and had the same amount of convenience (food delivery, grocery delivery!) and population density, I’d be doing exactly the same as you. As it is, my husband and I live in a modest farmhouse on 3 acres in rural Vermont, where the virus is the lowest in the country. Here’s how life looks for us: My husband works from home as a software development manager for a company in Seattle. I’m about to start remote classes at Harvard for a masters in psychology (Complete career reroute! Thanks COVID.). For our food, we have a CSA share that we go pick up once per week at a farm that has deftly adjusted to the realities of a pandemic and is VERY strict about social distancing. For our other grocery/supply needs, we have to drive 10 minutes over the river into New Hampshire (also a low-virus area) and shop, but there are strict distancing rules there too. We’ve been concerned about people with more “Live Free or Die” attitudes in NH perhaps not wearing masks and being confrontational about it, but in our area it hasn’t been a problem at all. Everyone dutifully wears a mask in public, and we all seem personally invested in keeping our numbers down. We have one “safe” family in our community whom we socialize – outside at a distance. We have traveled to Massachusetts a couple of times to visit family, but it’s been in the backyard, 6-10 feet away from each other, not sharing serving utensils, and masked up when using the bathroom or inside the house for any reason. For fun, we go on long drives, and we’ve take up canoeing, which is easy to do without much human contact. Shops and restaurants are mostly open, but either take-out only or super-spaced out on the lawn or under special tents in blocked-off areas of the street. Everyone likes them so much that there’s lots of talk about closing those streets permanently for pedestrian plazas. We’ve eaten out at a restaurant a total of twice since the beginning of March – once for our anniversary, and once I had an outdoor lunch with some women with whom I volunteer at a museum garden. We typically cook dinner 5x per week in normal times, so it wasn’t too bad to need to do it during lockdown, but we try to get takeout (there’s NO delivery here) once or twice per week to make sure we’re putting money into the community and helping support local businesses. As it is, several restaurants/businesses we’d loved, or wanted to try since moving here, have permanently closed due to the pandemic. Other than that, we pretty much stay home. It helps that we have such a large property and such low population density in the area, making social distancing less of a hardship. It’s still a bummer though. We’ve had to cancel international travel, visits to and from areas around the US, non-essential healthcare, etc. We don’t know anyone directly that has had the virus, but that hasn’t affected our empathy for those who have had their lives completely altered by it. The circumstances are different in different areas of the country but at least here, where the virus is particularly low, we’re all still being as careful as we can. You do you, Arlyn.
Denise Thadathil says:

August 24, 2020 at 8:01 am

You are not alone. My husband and I have been staying at home since March. We go outside to take care of our garden and flower gardens as well as a koi pond. Our first outing was to the grocery store in July because we could not continue the grocery delivery via instacart. It has become so expensive. We go there only when the hours are designed for the seniors only.
Rusty says:

August 24, 2020 at 9:11 am

GAH!!!
I live in Australia and we’re doing so amazingly well in keeping numbers low, evdn with z fully blown second wave in the second most populous state, Victoria. They’re in complete lockdown and the numbers are finally coming down. Most deaths are the elderly, but these are someonesloved ones, someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, etc.
However, there are some younger deaths too. It. Affects. Everyone. Differently.
Our state, Western Australia, currently and for over 100 days now, have had zero community cases. The only cases are returned citizens from overseas. They’re in enforced, monitored hotel-based quarantine for 14 days. WE ARE EXTREMELY LUCKY AND OUR GOVERNMENT IS DOING A STRONG, DETERMINED, FABULOUS JOB!!!
I’m high risk, beca…chemo. We stay out of it unless necessary and we’re here in a currently supersafe place!
If I lived in the USA, I’d be exactly like you and Charles!!!
The cases there are crazy. CRAZY!!!
Stay true to you. Stay inside. Stay safe! 🙈🙉🙊 And don’t listen to the naysayers.
(Sorry re: any typos. The comments font is sooooo small, I can hardly read it.)
Emie says:

August 25, 2020 at 3:19 am

Thank you and Orlando for sharing your feelings about the current situation we find ourselves in. It’s helpful knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way. I do not understand the behaviors of people acting as if everything is “normal”… whatever that is any more.
Thea says:

August 25, 2020 at 7:30 am

Thank you for your candor and sharing the post from Orlando! I’ve been trying to explain this exact thing to my friends and shared his post to them. We’ve been mainly staying in. However, over the last month or so I have ventured out, but have been cautious. A few trips to stores even once to Home Goods, which to my delight was easy to social distance in, but I received so much flack from my husband for that I haven’t gone to another store since. Went to the beach for the first time this month and it was one weekend I actually felt a sense of normalcy, but then immediately felt guilty for it. We were supposed to take our honeymoon in September, a couple weeks traversing through Europe and of course that was cancelled. My husband and I both graduated from our respective school programs, which after such a long struggle, was such a disappointment we couldn’t celebrate it. Then the hardest part was having family and friends move away across country and not being able to hug them goodbye. I know there’s no right way to do things, but it is very hard not to judge or be resentful when you look at social media and think everyone seems to be living their best lives through all of this. Thank you for letting me commiserate with you. You are definitely not alone.
Susan says:

August 25, 2020 at 7:48 am

Arlyn, I hear you. It seems like people have gotten tired of the pandemic, so they’re acting as if it’s over. I live in Bangkok, where the spread of the virus has been pretty contained even from the beginning. Life is pretty much back to normal here, except for the requirement to wear a mask inside any public space and the partitions between my elementary students at school. I’m from California and my heart is heavy for the US. Keep doing what you’re doing and stay safe.
A says:

August 25, 2020 at 11:51 am

Hi!! You’re totally not crazy. But I will say that I have been able to take advantage of some travel opportunities thanks to getting tested. It was great to spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods with friends knowing we were all COVID free! And we will probably do something similar in Palm Springs in the winter. There are ways to do things safely, as long as you have good information.
Carol says:

August 25, 2020 at 12:01 pm

You are not alone! Husband and I have stayed home since March, except for things like my cataract surgery and follow-up, and the occasional take-out pick-up. For the first time SINCE MARCH, we went to lunch with friends last week (they were in LA for a medical procedure the wife was having), so we had an outdoor lunch at a restaurant we trusted (been following the chef for years, so know he’s good abut food safety to begin with) and are now locked down for another week to make sure we didn’t pick anything up. I’ve given up my beach walks because so many people aren’t wearing masks and I’m tired of dodging them, and our social interaction is exclusively Zoom right now. It’s hard, and it can be depressing, but I know that it’s the right thing, not only for my husband and me, but for our greater community.
Maggie says:

August 25, 2020 at 1:39 pm

This is exactly how I am feeling! I feel like I’m living in a differently reality from everyone else sometimes. My parents are in their 60s and so many people they know are just carrying on as usual. Going group trips, attending weddings,etc. Don’t get me started on all the group selfies I see on my instagram feed where everyone has there faces up against each other. I think that slippery slope thing is so true, and that maybe everyone is still scared of getting it, but it becomes easier and easier to act normal and not think about it, if you do normal things. I personally, am not willing to risk getting potentially seriously ill, or getting someone else sick.
Jen S. says:

September 6, 2020 at 6:54 pm

You are in my head! This is so much what I have been feeling and thinking and I’m sticking to my dorky ways. I’m content in isolation, my work shifted to remote easily, and I was already really good at staying home. The Washington Post visualization that showed people who are going out and about as bouncing balls guides me. I can almost completely avoid bouncing anywhere. I get almost all of my groceries delivered and I do my socializing by Zoom and phone. I have just done two outdoor socially distanced visits in 6 months.
I am 100% behind you. I was already really good with my decision and your post was really helpful solidarity.
Emie says:

September 6, 2020 at 11:55 pm

I’m commenting a 2nd time because I had a bit of a revelation. Early on we heard from experts… don’t wear a mask, wear a mask, don’t wear a mask…. my head is spinning and I’m a nurse! Is it any wonder we’re all confused? I was in school in the early 80’s and we learned to wear a mask to protect the patient from our germs. We were never taught to put a mask on the patient as we were told it simply didn’t help. One day (while still in school), I specifically remember seeing a patient, in a wheelchair, on an elevator, wearing a mask (a young girl with no hair, I assumed she was on chemo). I thought to myself, why is that patient wearing a mask? Don’t they know it isn’t protecting her from outside germs? Looking back, maybe people in medicine intuitively knew putting masks on “at risk” patients actually DOES help to keep germs away from them? Maybe no one ever bothered to stop and think about it since it was “common knowledge”? Enter 2020 and someone HAS stopped to think about it. In my opinion, the research seems clear, wearing masks helps to protect both parties. Maybe we could all try and channel our inner 3 and 4 year old selves and ask “why?” more often?

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