The Ecstasy That is Normalcy

A quick heads up: this post is not well thought out. It’s not a nicely packaged piece of editorial. It’s just me, my thoughts, my fingers moving and hopefully your eyeballs absorbing. I’ve *obviously* been VERY absent lately. I have mentioned here and on my Instagram a little bit about why. My body has been a bit of a stranger lately, and to be honest, that’s an understatement. The last two months have been immensely difficult for me, both physically and emotionally. I’m still in the process of finding out what’s going on with me. So far, the tests I’ve gotten (3 MRIs, numerous blood panels) have not provided an “Ah ha!” moment. In fact, they’ve left me with “uh…huh?” moments. So I’m waiting for some more tests and hopeful that one day soon, I’ll have answers to what is ailing me and have my body back. In my darkest moments the last several weeks, I have envisioned a life with many hinderances. I’ve wondered if my future desires of being a mother will be thwarted. Looking back at photos from just a few months back, when everything worked the way it should work, would make me pang with longing.,...

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September Favorites (Just a Little Late) + Life Update

Hello! It’s been a while, huh? If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen me drop cryptic Stories about “focusing on my health” and whatnot. So many of you have been so kind to check in, literal strangers reaching out to make sure I’m okay after weeks of silence. Yes friends, I’m okay, but to say that the last two-ish months have been emotionally and physically difficult would be an understatement. Not to get into my personal medical files, a quick rundown of what’s been happening because I believe in not hiding the hardship in case it helps someone else feel less alone. About two months ago, I did the idiotic thing of hopping on top of a bench to, eh, deal with a creepy crawler. Stepping backwards off the bench without looking, I stepped on a ceramic planter that was on the ground and went tumbling. From there, weeks of horrific sciatica pain took over, making it essentially impossible to do anything for myself besides lay in bed and writhe in pain. Tons of pills and several chiropractic appointments later, I was starting to feel like I was making progress. Than, from one second to the next,,...

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