Getting Through Because You Already Have

Today was not easy. I really didn’t think I’d be writing one of “these” posts with only a few days left in Project 365-ish but here I am, and that’s okay. My body has no idea I’m trying to get to the finish line of something, so it does what it wants to do. I won’t get too into it, because it’s truly not the least bit interesting, but I woke up last night with horrific nerve pain running down my leg and exploding in my heel. Didn’t sleep a wink, gritted my teeth through the electrical shocks, found zero relief after trying many, many things. The only person in town from my “team” was my acupuncturist who luckily had a slot this afternoon I was able to grab. While it didn’t do too much to relieve the horrendous discomfort, she did give me some ideas for how to manage until I could see my prenatal chiropractor.

The extra weight of my baby belly clearly threw off my spinal alignment, likely grabbing my sciatic nerve and playing double dutch with it. Not fun, folks. I sit here, with a literal bucket of ice water next to my bed that I plunge my foot into every little bit to try to numb the pain. Alternating with a heating pad, some stretches, and some deep breathing are the only options I have as pain management as being pregnant severely limits my options for any kind of medication. Anyway, thrilling stuff. And here I was thinking my numb, tingling hands and aching elbows from the pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel was my biggest issue. Ha.

But, as I tried to remind myself in the dark of the night while listening to Charles lightly snore in his sleep—only moderately aware of what was happening on the other side of the bed—I’ve gotten through way, way worse. Almost nothing compares to the sheer torture that is nerve pain, but I’ve been here, and I survived, and I’ll survive this.

If you’ll humor me by allowing me to use a Harry Potter anecdote, it’s like in the third book/movie Prisoner of Azkaban where Harry is only able to produce his patronus after knowing that the patronus he had seen had actually been cast by him in the future (or was it the past?)…it is kind of like that. Living through pain and working your way past the worst of it equips you with the knowledge that you are, in fact, already capable of doing it again should it present itself. It’s not a fun lesson to learn in any way, and my tear-and-snot stained face, pillow, and pajamas last night might tell you a different story, but I knew I’d get through the night even if with no sleep and make it to another day.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was nervous about slinking down under the covers, turning out the lights and trying to sleep through to tomorrow without a relapse of blinding, burning pain, but I have the mantra “you’ve been through this, you will get through this again, you will survive” to play through my head even while Charles snores next to me, unable to stay awake long enough to comfort me through into morning.

This sucks, like, a lot, but I didn’t want it to stop me from wrapping up this year, so here I am, writing to get through, with my bucket of ice water awaiting me for as soon as I hit publish. Hopefully, tomorrow’s post will start with “man do I feel better!” but if it doesn’t, well, maybe the next day will.

See you tomorrow, FOAS.