I Get By With a Little Help From My FOAS

Project 365, Day 98/365

Warning: Mushy gushy post ahead. I had a bit of a different post planned for today, but when I sat down, all I could think to write about was you all. There’s something about this keyboard, on this blog, that turns me into a literal ball of goo. In real life, I joke around…a lot, I’m sarcastic, I’m random and a goofball with the occasional (okay…often) blip of cynicism, but I sit here and my heart opens up and I bleed all over the place. (Gross, sorry.)

Today, I sat back and watched the comment section from afar, too busy with work and appointments to dive in and join the conversation. There was so much love, support, community in there, I could hardly believe it was technically “mine.” It’s funny to see something you’ve created take on a life of its own (is this what having kids is like?!?). And while I claim nearly no credit for any of this—that all goes to you—I can’t help but be proud and happy and all those warm gushy feelings all the time when I see the sparkles and warm glow coming from my own website.

On days when I feel not so great and I write about it, you’re all here to lift me up. A complete and utter stranger to you. On days where I share a little something about my life, you’re all there to share your own life tidbits, ask questions, commune with each other. I mean…that feels pretty dang good.

There was something else that happened today I want to share with you, that’s adding to my gushiness. I received an email from a reader I had never heard from before. I won’t go into details, but if she’s reading, I want her to know how much her note meant to me. In short, she had been thinking about me and my health struggles, and reached out to share her own experiences that felt so similar to mine…and that she got through, and I will, too. She dropped so many gems that are still echoing in my ears. The right message, on the right day. It was just what I needed, and she had no idea.

So it got me thinking, that half the time, when I’m just writing about a struggle or a story or a lesson, maybe that’s giving someone what they needed, the right message, on the right day, and I had no idea. The internet is a funny place in that it can be disgusting, literal pond scum at the exact moment that it is bringing strangers together who need each other, or letting an ailing, somewhat-broken-at-the-time 30-something-year-old woman talk about nonsense to an audience of people who for whatever reason, keep showing up every day. (Me, I’m that woman.) I’m not being self-deprecating, I promise. I’m not looking for any compliments about what Arlyn Says has become for me and clearly some of you. It’s just, frankly, still hard for me to believe. But when I started writing every day, 98 days ago, as I searched for something to cling on to, something to control, something to keep my mind busy with, something to mend my spirit, I wasn’t sure what was going to come of it. There’s so much more time to go, but it’s so not scary anymore. Because the most amazing readers—friends—are on the other side of the screen, supporting me, supporting each other. Well, that’s just a thing of beauty to me. I may or may not be currently crying…

Thank you, again, for everyone here. For everyone who reads silently, for everyone who comments, for everyone who keeps coming back. You’ve helped me more than you know, and maybe, just maybe, I’ve helped you a little bit, too. 🙂

See you tomorrow, FOAS (for anyone newish to the conversation, that stands for Friends of Arlyn Says…it’s kind of a thing 😉.