Slumpy, Dumpy
Project 365, Day 70/365
I’m not going to lie, I’m in a bit of a slumpy funk this week which is making showing up here with enthusiasm and vigor harder than normal. When I was writing yesterday’s post, I sat in my chair for a good 10 minutes staring at the walls of my dining room, seriously questioning if I had any words left to write anything. It can feel that way sometimes, as a writer. Like you were holding a bag full of letters for years/decades, and all of a sudden, the well has run dry. I know that’s not actually the case…the words always come. Just when I think I’m in a sentence and thought desert, I keep walking and find a watering hole.
But yeah, again, I have no real topic to write about. As I sat outside tonight enjoying some socially distanced ice cream with friends in the name of lillördag, one of them asked me what I was planning on writing about for tomorrow. I sighed, said I had no idea, and uttered something along the lines of “maybe I’ll write about being in a creative slump,” and alas, here I am. I’m in a creative (and all-around) slump.
I’m going to blame it on my weekly routine being a bit shuffled. The days I had been going to physical therapy have changed, which I’m still getting used to, and the first session from this week was a bust. My physical therapist was out, which I knew about, so I was scheduled with someone else, an hour earlier than normal for me. I rolled out of bed, groggy and cranky, and when I showed up, the receptionist said, all concerned “oh no! We left you a message an hour ago. Your session was canceled because PERSONSNAMEHERE called out this morning.” So I turned back around, groggy and cranky, and proceeded to do my exercises at home. And my mind has been a mess ever since.
It likely doesn’t help that physically I’m also having an off week, so you put the mental and physical together and I might as well tap out…which I did from work a little early today, something I haven’t done since I first started feeling terrible all those months ago. Which, of course, led me down an emotional spiral and I had to stop myself before I got too lost in it. It can be hard for me to crawl out of that dark hole. Admittedly, I’m still a little in it. Not even my beloved lillördag felt as lillördag-y as in the past weeks. Happy to know that I get to try again next Wednesday.
Anyway, that’s all I have in me today. I very much hate feeling like I’m not even trying, but I’m going to cut myself some slack. I feel like you would, too. It’s a rainy day here in LA, and I love the rain SO much as it reminds me of home, so I’m going to go enjoy what’s left of it in bed with my digital copy of Big Magic. I think tomorrow will be a better day. And if it’s not, I’ll still be here anyway.
See you tomorrow, friends.
[If you came here to read something other than my giant sigh of a post, these have been some of my favorites from the last few weeks, either because I felt good about what I wrote, or because the comments were fun: What’s Your Completely Useless Superpower? Here’s Mine. | A Story About Oboes…& Betting On Yourself | The Karate Pillow Chop: An Exploration | Celebrating Boredom | The Wine Bottle Incident & The Deafening Silence Next Door | Who Moved My Tea? | Why Do “Design” People Hate TVs?]