A Quick Little Update
Project 365, Day 228/365
Happy Monday, friends of Arlyn Says. I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I feel like I rarely start posts in such a conversational way, as if we’re coming back to work, gathering by the water cooler, chit-chatting. I spent the majority of the weekend doing laundry, making lists of things to pack, running errands, but also resting when I needed it, sleeping in when I needed it. It was a good balance, I think.
Over the last week, well more like two, I’ve been thinking about what I should do while we’re away for a little bit. I’ll be working a few days here and there, so I need to bring my work computer, but traveling with two laptops (my work computer and my personal laptop) seems…no…I’m don’t doing that.
I started going through the exercise of what I’d need to transfer over from the laptop I write all my Arlyn Says posts on, what passwords and accounts I needed to take account for. My photos, etc. and a cloud of stress rolled into my head about it all. This was also coupled with the echos of a conversation I’ve had a few times—with my physical therapist, with my mom, with one of my doctors—about taking this time away and trying to eliminate as much of my daily stressors as I can, to see if it creates any shifts in my body.
There was a time last year, while off work for Christmas, that I felt…really dang good. And another time when Charles and I went away for a little less than a week. I don’t think there’s any coincidence that two times where my mind was free from responsibility that my body loosened up, where I felt as close to “normal” as I’ve felt since I first injured myself this time last year.
As difficult as it is to say (because I don’t take this lightly), to pause my momentum, I think I need to give myself this opportunity to truly unwind, take pressure off of myself for a little bit of time, see if anything improves. I may regret it, I might not. But I’m pretty resolute in needing the break. Doing anything for 228 days straight is a lot when you feel good. It’s immense when you feel…not great most of the time.
While I won’t be writing publicly, my goal to myself was to write every day for a year…I didn’t necessarily say where. I want to take this time to journal for myself, to get out the thoughts I can only write without an audience, without any care of typos, grammar, sentence structure. If something comes from any of those I feel comfortable sharing, I will.
Just so you know when I’ll be back on the blog (and to hold myself accountable), I’ll be writing today and tomorrow (I love my gratitudes, so I may pop on every Tuesday to share those), and returning to my FOAS Friday, September 3. A little over two weeks.
I have a feeling it’ll be difficult to turn off the ol’ brain of mine, stories fluttering around, begging to come to life here. If I have an itch, an inspiration, I’ll come on, write, share, but I’m not putting any pressure on myself to do so. Besides acting as a bit of a medical experiment for myself, I have to admit I’m a bit burnt out. I feel my mojo dwindling. My enthusiasm waning. I’ve always been a big believer in not giving up, but rather stepping away, “sleeping on it” and coming back with fresh eyes, heart and mind…stronger. I’m still here, just taking a breather.
I’m sorry to anyone I’m disappointing. Communing every day with everyone who shows up really does fuel me. It’s a soft pillow of a hug we all get to live in. I don’t want to lose that, so I do hope you’ll swing back in a few weeks.
Thank you for supporting me all this time, every day, every week…however often you visit. I’ll be back. I promise.
See you soon, FOAS.