Ask the Audience: What Are Your Ultimate Pet Peeves?

Project 365, Day 118/365

This weekend, Charles and I went down to one of our favorite little seafood shacks in Malibu for an early lunch. I had slept in late, and anytime I do that, I feel like I need to make up for my lost hours in the morning by going and doing something “productive” which for me, really just meant something outside the house. So at around 11 am, I asked Charles if he wanted to take the drive out there (it’s normally over an hour drive), he said “sure” thinking we’d beat the line that always ends up wrapping around the building shortly after noon, and we got dressed to head out.

We got there just before 1 pm because…LA and…traffic. Cars can really pile up on the Pacific Coast Highway on weekends. Lookie loos watching people surf or just generally taking in the scenery, but we rarely ever mind. We chat about all kinds of things or listen to some podcast episode of something or other (usually My Favorite Murder).

The line looked longer from the street than it actually ended up being, luckily, but we were still maybe about 10 parties back. There are red lines on the ground six feet apart, and every time we’ve been prior, everyone has done a pretty decent job staying behind their little lines. Me, the perpetual rule follower, I don’t even dare step one step in front of the line, mostly because I don’t want anyone around me feeling uncomfortable. Being that type of person, I just assume everyone else would think the same way. Ha, yeah right.

As we stood in line, I quickly started feeling the couple who was standing behind us inching closer and closer to me. At one point, I swear the woman was right behind my shoulder. I turned back around and passive-aggressively eyed them up and down as if to say “excuse me, back up…” They were talking to each other about some construction project they were doing at their home, engrossed in details about what to tell the contractor about some bathroom tile, so they hardly noticed me directly staring at them to move.

Maybe, just maybe, they lost track of how close they were to us—YOU KNOW, IN A PANDEMIC WHERE WE’RE TOLD TO STAY AT LEAST SIX FEET AWAY FROM PEOPLE—so I gave them another chance. When Charles and I stepped up to the next red marking on the ground as the line moved forward, I thought, okay surely they’ll stay back where they need to be. Nope. Instead of going the route of just asking them to kindly back up, I decided to loudly (and again, passive-aggressively) declare “I guess some people don’t understand what standing six feet apart from each other means. THERE ARE LINES ON THE FLOOR TO HELP YOU.” Then I swiveled my head around to really drive the point home…at least I thought. Because while I feel like I’m spiraling out of control in anger, most people just see someone acting pretty normally. We always feel like we’re being more dramatic than we are, I tend to find. Unless it’s the opposite and you’re the type of person with no self-awareness. I don’t think I’m one of those people (though most people with no self-awareness may also think they are not the type of person who doesn’t have self-awareness so…).

I could tell the man got a sense of my annoyance, but the woman was completely and utterly clueless. Moving closer and closer to me and she talked about her bathroom tile. Charles, ever the defuser and the “please don’t make a scene-er”, took about two steps back as I took a few steps forward to create some distance between us. And just as I was getting ready to say something, it was our turn to order and it was all fine.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY THAT IS ONE OF MY PET PEEVES. I CANNOT tolerate when someone stands close to me that I do not know. GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE. I also cannot stand when people completely and utterly lack any sense of self-awareness. Be aware, take in what’s going on around you, stop acting like you’re the only person gracing the surface of the earth. Can you tell how annoyed I am? Phew, it’s been a few days and I’m still peeved. Ha!

So, as I was thinking of what to write today, I thought, you know what…I’m going to write about my pet peeves, because I have so many (yikes), but they all kind of tend to go along with a theme. And I thought it could be a fun (but probably fruitless yet hopefully not damaging) comment exercise for anyone who wants to share a pet peeve of theirs to do so. Anyway, here are a few of mine and omg are there so many more where that came from (for the record, I find that “people pleaser” types like me tend to have far more pet peeves than others because we do what no one asked us to do of going out of our way to constantly make people around us feel comfortable that when someone doesn’t grant us the same in return, we lose our ish…that’s my hypothesis at least). Also, I may or may not have control issues around my food.

I can’t stand it when…

People crowd the boarding area in an airport terminal, which obviously I haven’t had to deal with in many, many months. If you are in boarding group #4, you have absolutely no business standing by the gate opening when they’re calling for families with young children to board. SIT DOWN. The plane is not leaving you. Relax.

People inch forward at a green light and end up practically halfway through the intersection with impatience…and then just get stuck at the same red light as me at the next intersection.

People are perpetually late, literally no matter what. How can you never be on time for anything? Or even worse, when people know they are the type of person who is always late and just use it as an excuse like I’m supposed to be okay with that.

People stand too close to me in a line (even when we’re not in a pandemic)…but I already drove this point home.

I’m speaking and someone cuts me off. Or when I notice someone else is always getting cut off. I go out of my way to bring them back into a conversation when the person who cut them off stops speaking. “Anyway, what were you about to say XX,” is my typical move to claim some justice over the cut-er off-er.

My food order comes incorrectly or with missing items. Almost nothing turns me into a monster faster than a takeout order gone wrong. I get this from my father. I remember him losing his mind when they forgot his fries at the Burger King drive-thru and he’d have to get back in his car to get what was forgotten. He’d never be angry with the people at the restaurant, but he’d certainly throw up his hands and mutter numerous curse words in Spanish on his way back out the door.

I’m already in a piss poor mood and my shirt or pants pocket gets caught on the door handle. I go from zero to 60…nay, zero to 120 in an instant.

I hold a door open for someone, and they walk through and don’t even acknowledge me. WHO RAISED YOU?

People are constantly complaining about kids and how loud or annoying they are. YOU WERE A CHILD, TOO, YOU KNOW!

People try to cut any line of any sort, especially in traffic. Your time is not more valuable than mine, I’m sorry.

Someone takes food off my plate without asking.

Someone is a one-upper. I’m all for sharing similar experiences with one another in a conversation, but please stop trying to always seem like a situation you have been in is either better or worse than my own experience.

People watch videos on their phones at full volume or talk on speakerphone in a public setting like a doctor’s office waiting area.

The microwave read-out is left with just a few seconds on the display because someone stopped it early, and they don’t reset the time.

People who don’t bus their own tables even when it’s very clear that that is supposed to be happening. I get that it’s not always super clear, but READ THE ROOM.

People who can’t read the room.

People are just overly loud no matter what the situation. Don’t get me started on loud music…and I’m officially 97 years old.

Find a way to complain about literally everything. I realize this is ironic in a post full of complaints, but I really cannot stand complainers. Find the positive in things, people (unless my takeout order is wrong, or you’re standing too close to me or watching videos loud without headphones in a public space, you know).

Okay, I think I need to stop now. I sound like someone who hates everyone and everything, but well…a lot of things annoy me, okay?

And….YOUR TURN.

See you tomorrow, FOAS.